Miss Rocket,
How do I end things with a guy who cheated on me twice? I mean, I still think we have something… right?
Sincerely,
Miss Lost
Miss Lost,
I think the way you handle this situation entirely boils down to the respect you have for your future relationships and the trust you have in yourself. There’s a famous quote from a film, Perks of Being a Wallflower that states, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” You deserve a love with someone who is sure about you and doesn’t need the external validation from people outside of your relationship.
I understand that this can be really hard to let go of, and it hurts a lot. But I want you to remind yourself of how you felt when he did what he did to you. The fact alone that it happened twice should show you that he doesn’t hold the same care and consideration for you that you would have for him. Mistakes happen, but not continuously, and not when you truly learn from those mistakes to be better for the people you care about.
Regardless of what you may “still have” with him, it doesn’t take away from the reality that he threw away a lot of what you used to have by breaking your trust. You’re allowed to be sad and angry and hesitant and feel any range of emotions you do as you figure out what to do. However, you need to seriously think about the kind of person you want to build a connection with as you evolve and move forward in your life. This doesn’t mean that you have to discount or forget about all of the good things that you experienced together; that can always be something for you to grow from and take with you. Bad moments don’t have to erase good memories, but good memories shouldn’t excuse the bad moments either.
All in all, I think this decision has to remain up to you. You know better than anyone what is right for you, but try to be honest with yourself about what you want for your future, your relationships, your life, and your partner. A lack of trust isn’t worth the potential of a connection.
Sincerely,
Miss Rocket
