I am not used to writing about myself on such a personal level, but here it goes. Something you may not know about me is that I’m married and that my husband and I are both in graduate school here. I met my husband at Seneca Hills Bible Camp where we both worked that summer. It wasn’t a connection and relationship right off the bat though, I actually thought he was pretty weird. We didn’t talk much, but I remember him being really nice and pretty funny.
Fast-forward to the academic year. I transferred to SRU and I was pretty lonely, I had gotten a nasty concussion and I was in a bad spot. I started having dinner with Travis and another friend once a week to help combat the transition to a new environment. We quickly became good friends and I remember how natural it felt to talk to someone, we would talk for hours and not even realize how fast time went. We then were best friends. I got him to join SRU’s Musical Theatre Society with me and we spent even more time together just really enjoying each other’s company.
That next summer, I told him I liked him. It was actually at the most inopportune and awkward moment I could think possible (we both are two pretty awkward people, it works for us well because there is never a dull moment). He was throwing a Frisbee with a camper and I just sort of blurted it out. I then proceeded to say that I never wanted to talk about it again (super smooth). But we did talk and he went on to explain how he had absolutely no idea and that he wasn’t sure how he felt because he doesn’t really think about romance and junk and that we should give it time to see what happens.
That next semester I was thankful that our relationship wasn’t awkward at all. We still hung out all of the time and did shows together all the while becoming even closer. Finally, one night he asked me if I still liked him–I did–and I asked him how he felt, he liked me too. The rest is pretty much follows a timeline you can guess. We started dating and immediately fell in love. He proposed (completely surprising me) on New Year’s Eve at the start of 2016, and we got married on Aug. 20th, and that same year at the most beautiful and simple wedding I could imagine. We didn’t care about it being expensive and fancy because all we wanted was to get married surrounded by our friends and family. It was one of the best and most beautiful moments of my life.
I love my best friend more than I can put into words. He challenges me, makes me laugh, cries with me and, most importantly, he supports and respects me. The biggest and most important aspect of our relationship is our faith and relationship with God. We realize that God gave us each other for a reason and that is what drives our relationship. We try to lead one another in that aspect and encourage the other when one is feeling low. Sex is a super taboo subject in the Church, something I hope will change. For us, it never was a taboo or awkward subject to talk about despite never really talking about it before. It’s strange because when our friends would ask if we had sex yet, some found it strange that we didn’t. Though we wanted to, we both saw sex as a very spiritual and emotional gift from God. We wanted to make that covenant with Him when we dedicated our lives to the other. Sex and consent was something we talked about and set boundaries together the first day of our relationship. I don’t think that was something everyone understood and we did get (lovingly) made fun of a bit for it.
Marriage is super difficult. There are times you want to scream and you are faced with the notion that you are not as selfless as you thought. I think what helps us work out so well is that we have the example of the ultimate sacrifice, Jesus. We try and model our relationship on grace, forgiveness, love, and sacrifice. I often think to myself in my selfish moments, Christ made the ultimate sacrifice for me so I could probably do the dishes or watch a sports movie that I don’t particularly want to watch. Those are two things I don’t particularly enjoy. Marriage is super difficult. But it is the most rewarding experience I have had. I never thought I could find someone as intersectional feminist, selfless, kind, funny, compassionate, supportive, and intelligent as him.
If I had more room to write, I would continue to talk about how blessed I am with this incredible guy. I’m definitely not trying to say that if you aren’t a Christian then you don’t have a good relationship–not at all. Travis and I are super imperfect and we are bountiful with flaws, but our faith and relationship with Christ has inspired us to continue to grow not only as individuals, but together and be able to love another that much more. Christianity is something that is, and always will be, monumental in our lives separate and together. Thank you for reading.