Miss Rocket,
How do I stop feeling so unattractive when all my friends get asked out all the time while I don’t?
Sincerely,
Mrs. So-Confused
Mrs. So-Confused,
This is something that I think a lot of people can feel without realizing that others in their life are also struggling with. Body image and self confidence is such a tricky thing to wrestle with, especially as a teenager/young adult coming into your own and discovering how you want to express yourself.
The first thing I can say, which sounds cliche but rings entirely true, is that you shouldn’t base your self worth off of anybody else. Everybody is living life and progressing at different rates, and this includes relationships as well. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say, and you should be much more focused on living a fulfilling and happy life with the people already in your corner. Romance will come when it’s meant to in your life, and comparing your own journey to others around you will do nothing but bring more negativity into your life.
As for feeling unattractive, if you want more solid, steady advice, what I’d recommend is doing more things in your life that make you feel more confident. Try a new hairstyle, wear a new outfit or experiment with your look in small ways to see how you feel. You should focus less on “becoming” more attractive and focus more on how to feel your best. When you feel attractive and confident–and act like it too–you will often appear much more approachable and can attract people around you based on your energy rather than solely on your looks. That’s a much more valuable way to connect with someone anyways.
On a slightly bolder note, it can also benefit you at times to be the one to reach out first. Initiation can be scary, but you’ll never know what benefits you could reap from taking a chance. Even starting as small as asking someone for their Instagram or to go grab a coffee on campus can jumpstart a relationship, whether romantic or not. Friendships can prove more fulfilling and lead to deeper connections in unexpected ways.
At the end of the day, what’s most important is how comfortable and confident you feel in yourself. Confidence is attractive, and focusing on yourself will lead to abundance in all sorts of other areas of your life.
Sincerely,
Miss Rocket
