It’s that time of the year again. Lights cover houses like the Griswold’s, children ask for bb guns and other dangerous weapons like Ralphie, and people quote the Grinch as if they were in the movie alongside Jim Carrey. But truly, this is a special time of the year.
It’s even better when you know that there are radio stations dedicated to Christmas music 24/7. Here is a list of, in my opinion, the ten worst Christmas songs of all time. In no particular order, it is understandable why most, if not all, shouldn’t exist.
1) “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”
This song has to be sung by a child or it’s weird. Even then, it doesn’t make sense with the spirit and meaning of Christmas. Every time the line “if I could only whistle is sung,” the child tries to whistle, but fails. It gets old quick.
2) “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”
So random. Out of everything a child could ask for, a Hippopotamus? The song gets annoying after the second time. It’s basically just increasing the consumerism side of Christmas, which is already getting out of hand.
3) “Santa Baby”
Santa comes to bring presents to children, so why is a grown woman waiting for him to “hurry down the chimney?” And calling him “baby?” This is a fictional old man who’s hundreds of years old people!
4) “I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus”
Another creepy song making Santa Clause a desirable figure. He is an old man with a white beard who brings nice children presents, not smooching mothers. Then, can you imagine a child witnessing this? AWKWARD.
5) “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
Most likely everyone can agree that this is the worst Christmas song ever written. The title says enough.
6) “All I Want For Christmas Is You” (featuring Justin Bieber)
The duo of Mariah Carrey and Justin Bieber. First, they begin with weird “doo wops,” then Justin comes in and tries to match what Mariah can do in this song… not even close. How did they even work together for this? Random!
7) “The Christmas Shoes”
NO SONG IS MORE DESPRESSING. I have never listened to it all the way through because it’s too sad. It’s not on this list because it’s bad, it’s just so sad it brings your Christmas spirit down to Grinch level (before his heart grew three sizes).
8) “Must Be Santa”
Bob Dylan’s version is just confusing; it’s like a polka with everyone singing on a sped-up level. It’s almost unrecognizable what Dylan says, until his backup singers repeat him.
9) “Christmas Conga”
I think Cyndi Lauper wanted to do something that was never done before, but this should have NEVER been done. No one congas on Christmas! There is a list of reasons why this song is never heard on Christmas music stations.
10) “Christmas Tree”
So apparently Lady Gaga did a Christmas song? There’s a reason you didn’t know until right now… it’s awful. It starts out with some pop beats that remind you of “Bad Romance,” but then comes Gaga saying (not singing) that she “will take off her clothes” if asked. What?!?!