Words can hurt, so think before you speak

Throughout time, there have always been popular sayings and slogans that people insert into their language, and over time, what's popular to say comes and goes.

Many of us have found ourselves saying expressions such as "winning" and "that's hot."

While these expressions are the popular thing to say, how many of us sit down and think about if we may be offending someone by saying them?

As a feminist, I hold the beliefs that everyone should be given the same respect, opportunities, rights and freedoms, regardless of their abilities, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, gender, social status, etc. I believe that people are human and everything else is irrelevant. Therefore, everyone should be treated as you would like to be treated.

But it never occurred to me how many popular things to say in our language are offensive to so many people until I took the Inclusive Leisure class with Dr. Colleen Cooke.

In this class, we learned many examples of offensive popular slogans and how to use person-first language, instead. Person-first language is used when you essentially put the fact that someone is a person before anything else about them. For example, instead of saying "physically disabled person," you would say "person with a physical disability." By using person-first terminology, you're giving that person more respect.

There have been many times in my life when I've heard someone refer to something or someone as "retarded."

The individual was describing something as being either unfair, stupid or someone acting in a stupid manner. By our culture saying this so much, we have transformed the understood meaning of mental retardation to labeling something as stupid, when, in reality, it truly means that someone has different intellectual abilities than would be expected of a person their age. 

It is inappropriate and it can offend so many people by labeling something that you don't like or think is stupid as "retarded."

Another popular phrase to label something as unfair or stupid is saying, "that's so gay." This remark can be even more offensive to people around you without you even realizing it.

Many people with intellectual disabilities bear physical cues in their appearance (ex: children with Down syndrome), but someone who is gay or lesbian does not necessarily have any visual cues to their sexual orientation.

Therefore, by saying a popular phrase such as "that's so gay," you could be offending many people around you without you realizing it. And since when is being gay stupid or considered something wrong with an individual?

Another phrase that could offend many people around you is the rampant use of the word rape. Many people, after taking a test which they may have failed, use the expression "that test raped me," as if you're putting your failing a test on the same playing field as the traumatic experience of being raped.

I have also heard the opposite, when someone has done well on a test claiming that they "raped that test," which is then putting rape in the "that's a great thing" category. Rape is not a good thing or something that should be made out to be less traumatic than it really is.

According to studies conducted by Roger Williams University, one in four women and one in six men will experience some type of sexual assault in their lifetime. Therefore, when making an expression about rape, think about how many people you're offending.

I used to hear these phrases and be offended, but not say anything because I didn't want to cause a scene and because I realize that, most likely, the person is not meaning to be hurtful. But after taking Dr. Cooke's class and learning more about person-first language, I realize that not only as a feminist, but also as a human on this planet, I should speak up with my disgust. Dr. Cooke taught me a valuable lesson that "people only know what they know until they know something different." After hearing that, I began to realize that many people may not know that they are offending people with what they say.

So that is why I am writing this article, to make people more aware that with their words, they are offending and disrespecting many people that they know or even don't know. Not using this terminology isn't about being politically correct. It is about giving respect to everyone because they are human and deserve it. Language and these popular phrases evolve over time, and just keep in mind that the next popular phrase could be something that offends you.