RockOUT inspires me often. As co-president of RockOUT for the past three years, I have had the privilege of walking away from many meetings feeling as if I could do anything. This past week's meeting was one of those times. The discussion at RockOUT has inspired me to write this article.
Have you ever had to hide a vital part of who you are? Do you catch yourself watching your language, your actions and the way you dress to keep something hidden? The members of RockOUT know exactly what this feels like.
The discussion at last week's meeting was about being out at work. For many students, myself included, we would try to appear straight in order to earn the respect of our boss or our coworkers.
At my summer job in Butler this year, I had female bosses who I respected for their work ethic and knowledge. However, there were many times when I was reluctant to truly be myself because of their conservative views.
For example, my bosses were going to a meeting and they asked me to man the phones while they were gone. I said, "You mean ‘woman' the phones," and I smiled at my own wittiness.
My one boss went on for several minutes about how everyone knows that when you say ‘man' it really means both men and women. I kept my mouth shut after that. I never officially came out as a lesbian at work, but I would just say I was going to see my girlfriend if we were talking about our weekend plans.
When most people realize that I am a lesbian, they usually ask a lot of questions about when I knew, how my parents reacted and how long I've been out.
My bosses did no such thing. They never even brought up the topic. However, they knew enough not to ask me if I had a boyfriend.
For many people at RockOUT, they had similar experiences. There is a negotiation that happens as a member of the LGBT community at work and that is finding balance between respecting your boss and being yourself.
While my co-workers would talk about their children and their husbands, I would sit quietly unless a question was specifically directed towards me.
If you know me at all, you would know that I am out on campus and I'm not ashamed of who I am. This is why I even surprised myself this summer by being so guarded about my sexual identity. I felt judged and uncomfortable at my workplace.
One should always try to be a good employee. However, some employers are not as friendly when it comes to being gay or lesbian.
One student at RockOUT said the employer told him he was hiring him only because the place of employment wanted to seem more diverse. He was hired as the token gay person. How is one supposed to respect their employer and do their best on the job if one is merely hired so the company seems diverse?
Imagine you and your co-workers are having a conversation during lunch. Someone who supervises you asks what you did this weekend. You start to say, "Oh I went to my…" and you hesitate.
Do you say girlfriend or should you stick to the safe route and just say friend? The moment's hesitation passes and you say girlfriend. The conversation continues.
Being LGBT is never easy, but when it comes to your paycheck and your livelihood, sometimes it can be extremely difficult.
In 2011, I should not be writing this article.
It is unfortunate that those in the LGBT community have to negotiate their values with their career.
I look forward to the day when being gay is no longer an issue in the workplace.
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