The Rocket

Issue date: 4/25/08 Section: Opinion

When I am not whining about the condition of the world, I am generally found perusing a little something that I like to call "the internets."

While "the internets" consist largely of 16-year-old girls running around in their bathing suits and taking pictures of themselves at obscure angles with high contrast to disguise their acne and body types, it also has a few very interesting websites.

One of which is a website called "Stuff White People Like" (http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com), which I was immediately attracted to largely because I am a white person, and I like stuff.

After reading through this website, I learned a bit about what white people like, almost as if I were researching it for a paper.

I have learned that white people like expensive sandwiches, the Toyota Prius, soccer, shorts, indie music, and threatening to move to Canada.

However, I feel that as a country, we need to move away from these racially charged stereotypes and into more inclusive ones.

That is where Scuppies come in. Scuppies are "Socially Consciously Urban Professionals." They are like Yuppies, but a "greener" version.

They are concerned with the trendy as well as the eco-conscious.

However, in order to fully understand this growing group, I think we need to learn about their interests. Here are the painfully aesthetic and trendy things that these Scuppies, regardless of race or ethnicity, like.

These people love vulgar-sounding sandwiches called "Paninis," which prompts these sandwich connoisseurs to purchase a "Panini Grill" to attempt to make it in their chic little kitchens.

Said kitchens consist of granite countertops, a center island, stainless steel appliances, dark wood (RECYCLED), and a drawer full of odd little gadgets. Granite is the ultimate in trendy for Scuppies.

If you watch enough HGTV, you learn that they simply won't buy a house unless it comes fully loaded with these things.

It's bad enough that houses are being sold without a Toyota Prius in the garage and solar panels on the roof, but oak cabinets just will not do.

Thick-framed glasses are also popular with Scuppies. While the 1950s have come and gone, somehow the trend of thick-framed glasses has stuck around.

No longer do these monstrosities simply single out "emo kids," they show who is a trendy person, and who is not.

People like to wear them because they believe it lends them an aura of "edgy chic," and "urban intellectual," when in actuality, it makes you look like a stuffy individual who wanted bulky, boxy glasses because they are in style.

They do not flatter anyone's face. This is a common misconception that is perpetuated because of Scuppies' incessant need to distinguish themselves from the unwashed masses.

Scuppies also love reusable grocery bags.

They're not happy with simply buying a cloth bag from the grocery store.

No, they have to buy bags from "the internets." Bags made out of Starburst wrappers, or bags that are so violently eco-friendly that they could potentially be damaging the environment by simply existing.

The environment is more of a fashion statement and a status symbol to these people than an actual thing to be concerned about.

It's like saying, "Look at me, I am affluent enough to afford to go green."

Now, don't get me wrong. I think going green is a great idea.

I'm not fond of raping the environment by strip mining or burning more gas than is necessary.

It's just when being environmentally conscious is a trend reserved for the affluent, do I get annoyed by it.

Trying to be more eco-friendly than your neighbor is not the way that conserving the environment should be.

These fashionable tree-huggers who have jumped the green trend just for appearance's sake should honestly take a look at the utter ridiculousness of it.

Going green is about keeping up the Earth's appearance, not your own.

Lisbeth Wells-Pratt is a sophomore creative writing major and a regular contributor to The Rocket.

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