2008 Woodie Awards
Life at the Rock provides comedy, entertainment
By Neil Durco, Guest Columnist
Issue date: 9/21/07 Section: Opinion
Ah, another year at Slippery Rock, and the weirdness has begun again, fresh and new as always.
I rarely read the police blotter. I think it takes the fun out of things.
Sure it's funny to find the name of someone you know in there, but honestly, things are more entertaining when you get all your information through hearsay.
For example, I was at work a couple weeks ago when someone informed me that a middle-aged, allegedly middle-eastern man had been exposing himself at Rocky's. Hilarious.
I could have checked it out myself in the paper, but why would I have wanted to?
I now have the freedom of adding to the story.
I could, for example, settle the question of this man's circumcision status when I retell it.
I happen to enjoy that sort of freedom, and knowing the actual truth would rob me of that.
But back to the issue at hand, I suppose some sort of small-scale police manhunt followed in an attempt to locate this dangerous menace to what we consider "normal" campus life.
Probably anyway, as I said before I don't read the blotter (unless I am directly involved in the subject matter).
Certainly, plenty of people were shocked by the act itself, although why that is I could only guess.
One thing I really enjoy about SRU is that it can never really shock me anymore.
Surprise? Certainly.
Annoy? Constantly.
But shock? Never.
On a campus where pirate and Seattle Seahawks flags are hung from the water tower often enough to prompt the university to padlock the water tower door in addition to the already-present barbwire fence, you shouldn't expect things to make sense. On a campus where people scream and swear at a Baptist preacher on a soapbox who says they are going to hell, even though they don't believe in hell, you shouldn't expect things to be normal. In February people make snow penises in the courtyard.
It's general madness, and I have to say that it's all incredibly entertaining. So thanks Slippery Rock, it's good to be back for another year of ridiculous college town people and their antics.
So please, everyone, for your own sanity, you need to stop taking this crap seriously.
If someone you know gets the snot kicked out of them for being silly enough to wear a Browns jersey to a party, don't act so surprised.
When it's 4 a.m. on Saturday morning and you're at Sheetz shaking your head at some girl who passed out while ordering her MTO, try to embrace it.
You're here for a year, so you might as well start getting used to it.
So good luck and Godspeed to you poor, poor souls, and try not to pass judgment on your equally mixed-up peers.
Point and laugh. The favor will be returned.
I guarantee.
Neil Durco is a senior geography major.
I rarely read the police blotter. I think it takes the fun out of things.
Sure it's funny to find the name of someone you know in there, but honestly, things are more entertaining when you get all your information through hearsay.
For example, I was at work a couple weeks ago when someone informed me that a middle-aged, allegedly middle-eastern man had been exposing himself at Rocky's. Hilarious.
I could have checked it out myself in the paper, but why would I have wanted to?
I now have the freedom of adding to the story.
I could, for example, settle the question of this man's circumcision status when I retell it.
I happen to enjoy that sort of freedom, and knowing the actual truth would rob me of that.
But back to the issue at hand, I suppose some sort of small-scale police manhunt followed in an attempt to locate this dangerous menace to what we consider "normal" campus life.
Probably anyway, as I said before I don't read the blotter (unless I am directly involved in the subject matter).
Certainly, plenty of people were shocked by the act itself, although why that is I could only guess.
One thing I really enjoy about SRU is that it can never really shock me anymore.
Surprise? Certainly.
Annoy? Constantly.
But shock? Never.
On a campus where pirate and Seattle Seahawks flags are hung from the water tower often enough to prompt the university to padlock the water tower door in addition to the already-present barbwire fence, you shouldn't expect things to make sense. On a campus where people scream and swear at a Baptist preacher on a soapbox who says they are going to hell, even though they don't believe in hell, you shouldn't expect things to be normal. In February people make snow penises in the courtyard.
It's general madness, and I have to say that it's all incredibly entertaining. So thanks Slippery Rock, it's good to be back for another year of ridiculous college town people and their antics.
So please, everyone, for your own sanity, you need to stop taking this crap seriously.
If someone you know gets the snot kicked out of them for being silly enough to wear a Browns jersey to a party, don't act so surprised.
When it's 4 a.m. on Saturday morning and you're at Sheetz shaking your head at some girl who passed out while ordering her MTO, try to embrace it.
You're here for a year, so you might as well start getting used to it.
So good luck and Godspeed to you poor, poor souls, and try not to pass judgment on your equally mixed-up peers.
Point and laugh. The favor will be returned.
I guarantee.
Neil Durco is a senior geography major.
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