The Rocket

Issue date: 5/4/07 Section: Opinion

I've been working on a lot of final projects the past few weeks, naturally, the television ended up on, and finally, my head exploded.

After weeks of hearing about that ridiculous American Idol candidate, Sanjaya Malakar, and his awful singing and even more awful hair, he was back. MSNBC, the hub of all trashy entertainment news, was touting Sanjaya's invitation to the White House correspondent's dinner.

Why is this newsworthy?

Why on earth would a national news channel be telling me this?

It was bad enough to watch MSNBC for a few hours and see a story about American Idol every 30 minutes, but this was just salt in the wound.

If I cared about American Idol, I would watch it. I don't watch the news to learn about the latest person kicked off of a show that I don't even watch.

When you turn the "news" on, there's a certain expectation you have-and it is not silly-looking fame-mongers with no talent.

The television has gotten out of hand. Between one-legged dancers and cranky British judges, I just don't know where to turn.

It seems that TV viewers will watch anything that's put in front of them. But then again, zoning out is a lot easier than using your brain at any point in time.

These shows are a glorified form of a junior-high talent show, and I hope that most of us have outgrown that by now.

It's been said that people like these shows because they want their opinions on the "performers" to be heard. I like that idea.

I think it would be a fantastic if Americans could call-in to vote for the president. We'd get to watch the candidates stand around on a brightly colored stage, singing karaoke, while we wait for the votes to come in.

If people like their opinions to be heard so much, maybe they should try voting for a change.

Despite these horrible shows, I'd like to improve the evening lineup by proposing some new television shows to take the place of the mindless drivel that is American Idol and Dancing With the Stars.

First off, "Dancing With Your Dogs." We already have the WE's "America's Cutest Puppy contest." Why not dress your dog up in a jaunty costume and prance about a ballroom?

The premise is simple: you take a scantily-clad woman and a mastiff, and set them to dancing to some salsa music.

Next on the list is "Palm Beach Pirates." You take two teams of people, democrats and republicans, and hide a box of ballots somewhere in Palm Beach County, Fla.

The first team to find it gets to pick the president of the country, regardless of what anyone else says.

Finally, this one was inspired by a real life Web site, and I think it's a winner. It's called "George W. Bush or Chimp."

The live version of the game would consist of one picture, either George W. Bush, or a chimp. The contestant would have to decide which it was. To win $1 million, they'd have to answer 20 of the questions of varying difficulties, and yes, sometimes it is hard.

In conclusion: talent shows don't belong on the news; they belong on the networks, where an interested audience can watch them. Stop torturing me with the results of these competitions on my national news channels. They're uninteresting, uninformative and are not even remotely important in world politics.

The sooner I can focus on real news, rather than someone's horrible singing, the better.

Lisbeth Wells-Pratt is a freshman English major and a regular contributor to The Rocket.

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