The Rocket

Issue date: 3/10/06 Section: Opinion

Jen Meyer - Copy Editor

Isn't it weird how so many people give animals human personalities and attributes? If you've ever had a pet, you know how easy it is to fall into this trap. I catch myself doing it with my pet birds; I do it even more with my parents' dogs. It's not like your pet can really understand what you say to it, but animals are so sensitive to emotion and body language that it sometimes seems like they can.

I blame Disney for the over-personification of animals. Classics like "Bambi," "Dumbo" and "The Lion King" make animals seem just like us. Therefore, some people who grew up watching these movies feel like they can't discipline their dog when it jumps on people; they might hurt its feelings. Likewise, many people won't eat meat, particularly wild game, because they "can't eat Bambi." Venison lovers become comparable to cannibals.

But honestly, isn't this attitude toward animals just a little over-the-top? I really doubt that a lion in the Serengeti would look at me and think, "I can't eat that girl, she's just too darling." Nope. I would be kitty food in no time.

So why do we think this way?

If you want to look at it realistically, if we truly want to make other animals more human, they wouldn't be cuddly little munchkins with big squishy brown eyes. They would have real human attitudes and real human problems. Bambi would be taking a back seat to stories that went more like this:

Muffy was a handsome feline, a Persian mix with a full coat of silky brown fur. He was a regular at local cat shows, where he was immensely popular among his fellow competitors. Before long, Muffy was a local star.

Then, suddenly, Muffy's world turned upside-down.

Muffy's fellow cat show participants became jealous of his success. Where before Muffy had friends, now all he had was competition. His many trophies were quickly losing their luster.

The joy stolen from his life, the tragically handsome cat fell into a deep depression. He stopped going to cat shows. Instead, he aimlessly moped around his neighborhood. He kept this up for weeks, until one day a local stray stopped him in a back alley and pushed a green plant into Muffy's paw. Muffy couldn't believe the incredible sense of peace and happiness that suddenly overcame him. He'd found the solution to all of his problems: catnip.

Soon all Muffy was doing was getting high, rolling in the neighborhood catnip beds for hours at a time. He stopped eating. He no longer spent evenings in front of the hearth with his caretaker. He lost weight, his fur became matted and stringy, and his prominent cat show career was gone forever. Muffy's only concern was staying supplied with catnip.

Continued...

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