The Rocket

Issue date: 2/24/06 Section: Opinion

Josh Bortnik - Staff Writer

Shapely and graceful are your sandaled feet, and queenly your movement. Your limbs are lithe and elegant, the work of a master artist. Your body is a chalice, wine-filled. Your skin is silken and tawny like a field of wheat touched by the breeze. Your breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is carved ivory, curved and slender. Your eyes are wells of light, deep with mystery. Quintessentially feminine.

Pretty hot and romantic, huh? This is just part of a man speaking to his lover in Chapter 7 of Song of Solomon in the Bible, which is full of advice on how to have a great sex life.

I have something for you to think about. Cats, dogs, frogs, bats, rats and donkeys all have sex. So, is sex just about achieving an organism and procreation? The truth is, God created sex and wants you to have an awesome sex life. In fact, if there is anything that should let you know that God is good, it is sex. There are so many misconceptions about God, especially with sex, and you can only go the Bible to find the truth that He has for your life.

The sad thing is that we are caught between lies of the church and our culture. Many churches have made sex out to be a horrible thing, or have made it an "off limits subject" to talk about. Our culture throws around sex like it is no big deal. There are also many people who have advice about sex. Just go to any magazine rack, and you'll see headlines like, "25 Sexual Positions to Blow His Mind."

If these were the keys to successful sex in relationships and marriage, then why is there such a high divorce rate in America? On top of that, heartbreak, pain and even death are all effects of having casual sex.

The truth is, God created sex as the ultimate wedding gift based upon adoring intimacy between two people. You can have good sex now or great sex for the rest of your life. The Bible describes marriage as the union of two becoming one flesh. God's plan for sex is based around two people being passionately in love and being best friends. It revolves around them knowing each other, not just selfish physical gratification.

However, a couple has to first learn how to serve each other with their intimacy needs and only then will they fully learn how to please each other sexually. Why is this? It has been researched that we all have intimacy needs that need to be fulfilled. These include acceptance, approval, respect, comfort, attention, security, encouragement, affection, appreciation, and support. However, sex is not one of these. You can think of sex as the icing on the cake. Any relationship built on externals will not last. I am not saying that if you have sex before marriage you will not enjoy it. I know of people who have had sex like drunk-monkeys, but the sad thing is that they already broke-up or are setting themselves up for pain and forfeiting the amazing relational and sexual plans God has for their lives.

Good sex is something that lasts for a lifetime and will build your relationship. The Bible has a lot more to say about sex, so you should check it out. In Hebrews it even says that in the marriage bed anything goes.

In closing, I want to encourage you that God has amazing plans for your life. Just seek him and he will give you all the desires of your heart, including that wonderful husband or wife. Also, read the woman's response to the man and imagine the bond that they had: I am my lover's. I'm all he wants. I'm all the world to him!

I just pray you can wait on God and find as much love and intimacy in sex as the couple mentioned above.

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