2008 Woodie Awards
Spyware is stressful but repairable problem
By Brandon Himes
Rocket Web Editor
Issue date: 4/8/05 Section: Life
Why, why, why? Why does everyone have spyware? I don't, but everyone else seems to. So I ask you honestly, why? How can people use their computers with ads popping up in their faces all the time?
I am left only to assume that all of you spyware-infested people just don't know what you're supposed to do to get rid of it. Well friends, here are the pearls of wisdom you've been waiting for; I'm going to tell you how to stop spyware forever. I know, you're grateful already.
The following are some facts about spyware that all of you x-outers need to understand. Spyware gets into your computer through Internet Explorer (IE). That's right. I know that all you hunt-and-peckers probably thought that Microsoft would never give you a product that wasn't secure, but you were dead wrong.
You see, IE has more holes in it than Christina Aguilera's favorite jeans. Now generally I'd say that holes in Christina's jeans are a good thing, God bless her, but that's not the case when you're getting pop-ups every two seconds because of those ever so provocative holes.
So here's what you've got to do - stop using IE altogether. You're going to download, install and use a new browser called Firefox. Now, hold on. Before you start your whining and crying, you have to know that it isn't all that hard. I'll walk you through it. I'll even hold your hand if that will help. No, not really.
Now, step one is that you have to go to http://www.mozilla.org. Now, I know that some of you geniuses are thinking, "How am I going to do that if I'm not supposed to use Internet Explorer anymore?" Good one, joker. You can use your handy-dandy IE until you've finished installing Firefox.
So you're now on Mozilla.org, I hope. If you're not, get there. Right there you'll see the link for a free download of Firefox. Click on that, chief.
From there, you'll be prompted to save the Firefox install. Pick your desktop if you don't know where to put it. If you're having trouble with saving the install to your desktop then this article is waaaay too advanced for you and you are indeed fired. The download should take a few minutes if you're on broadband. If not, best of luck to you. You might want to consider joining the rest of us in this decade.
I am left only to assume that all of you spyware-infested people just don't know what you're supposed to do to get rid of it. Well friends, here are the pearls of wisdom you've been waiting for; I'm going to tell you how to stop spyware forever. I know, you're grateful already.
The following are some facts about spyware that all of you x-outers need to understand. Spyware gets into your computer through Internet Explorer (IE). That's right. I know that all you hunt-and-peckers probably thought that Microsoft would never give you a product that wasn't secure, but you were dead wrong.
You see, IE has more holes in it than Christina Aguilera's favorite jeans. Now generally I'd say that holes in Christina's jeans are a good thing, God bless her, but that's not the case when you're getting pop-ups every two seconds because of those ever so provocative holes.
So here's what you've got to do - stop using IE altogether. You're going to download, install and use a new browser called Firefox. Now, hold on. Before you start your whining and crying, you have to know that it isn't all that hard. I'll walk you through it. I'll even hold your hand if that will help. No, not really.
Now, step one is that you have to go to http://www.mozilla.org. Now, I know that some of you geniuses are thinking, "How am I going to do that if I'm not supposed to use Internet Explorer anymore?" Good one, joker. You can use your handy-dandy IE until you've finished installing Firefox.
So you're now on Mozilla.org, I hope. If you're not, get there. Right there you'll see the link for a free download of Firefox. Click on that, chief.
From there, you'll be prompted to save the Firefox install. Pick your desktop if you don't know where to put it. If you're having trouble with saving the install to your desktop then this article is waaaay too advanced for you and you are indeed fired. The download should take a few minutes if you're on broadband. If not, best of luck to you. You might want to consider joining the rest of us in this decade.
