2008 Woodie Awards
Men must know rules of game in battle of sexes
Issue date: 2/4/05 Section: Rocket Letters
To the Editor:
Men are smarter than women, but sometimes it just takes men a little longer to learn this. My recent experiences have helped reinforce this fact.
For the past three weeks, I have accompanied my wife to the retail chain of Linens and Things. If you haven't been to one of these stores, think of it as a Super Wal-Mart with only those items that would appeal to the female population. Take a perfectly good Wal-Mart, strip out the sporting goods, electronics, toys, automotive, and anything else of male interest, then double the size of the remaining departments and you've created a Linens and Things.
My wife cleverly sucked me into one of these stores. We were supposed to be going to a movie, but I got lost on the way to Niles, Ohio (Yes, I did stop and ask for directions - three times - see first sentence of article). When we arrived at the theater, our film had already started, and in an effort of appease my wife, I agreed to go shopping.
The shopping started out safe enough. First we went to Borders Books where there's plenty to keep me busy - a large selection of magazines, and entire book sections dedicated to gambling, computers and sex. I suggested we get an overpriced coffee and spend the afternoon, but she had other, grander ideas.
Our next move was to Target. You're familiar with these stores and their advertising. They're the Wal-Marts that are inoculated with European styling and lots of circular red color. Luckily they do have an electronics section.
I found the electronic game station where you can play the latest Xbox or GameCube game. Usually I don't try these because they're overrun with undesirables. Being a weekday, they were empty, and I pushed reset buttons and A and B buttons in an effort to play. After about few minutes I realized they were just in a demo mode (see first sentence of article).
Meanwhile, my wife was trying to decide which soap dispenser would look best in our bathroom. I suggested the white bar soap we currently used was fine. We bought the red one with the European styling.
Men are smarter than women, but sometimes it just takes men a little longer to learn this. My recent experiences have helped reinforce this fact.
For the past three weeks, I have accompanied my wife to the retail chain of Linens and Things. If you haven't been to one of these stores, think of it as a Super Wal-Mart with only those items that would appeal to the female population. Take a perfectly good Wal-Mart, strip out the sporting goods, electronics, toys, automotive, and anything else of male interest, then double the size of the remaining departments and you've created a Linens and Things.
My wife cleverly sucked me into one of these stores. We were supposed to be going to a movie, but I got lost on the way to Niles, Ohio (Yes, I did stop and ask for directions - three times - see first sentence of article). When we arrived at the theater, our film had already started, and in an effort of appease my wife, I agreed to go shopping.
The shopping started out safe enough. First we went to Borders Books where there's plenty to keep me busy - a large selection of magazines, and entire book sections dedicated to gambling, computers and sex. I suggested we get an overpriced coffee and spend the afternoon, but she had other, grander ideas.
Our next move was to Target. You're familiar with these stores and their advertising. They're the Wal-Marts that are inoculated with European styling and lots of circular red color. Luckily they do have an electronics section.
I found the electronic game station where you can play the latest Xbox or GameCube game. Usually I don't try these because they're overrun with undesirables. Being a weekday, they were empty, and I pushed reset buttons and A and B buttons in an effort to play. After about few minutes I realized they were just in a demo mode (see first sentence of article).
Meanwhile, my wife was trying to decide which soap dispenser would look best in our bathroom. I suggested the white bar soap we currently used was fine. We bought the red one with the European styling.
