I’ve been friends with this guy for a while now, and I stress the word friends. I think that recently he’s started to think of me as someone that he’d like to be more than friends with, but I just don’t feel the same way about him. My friends have also noticed this too, and I don’t know whether I should approach him about it, or just let the situation play out to see if my suspicions are true. I don’t want things to get awkward between us because he’s a good friend. What’s a girl to do?
Friends with No Benefits
Dear Friends with No Benefits,
I have one rule that I’ve learned over the years, on many occasions, and I find this to be slightly (if not completely) applicable to this situation. NEVER assume. Ever. There could be many other reasons as to why this guy is acting the way he is. Until he tells you straight up, to your face and looking into your eyes, I would wait to say anything. How bad would it be if you did say something and he doesn’t have feelings for you? Talk about awkward! Play it cool for now, and maybe don’t hang out with him as much if you find the situation is getting worse. But like I said, just never assume.
My friend just landed her first real job post-graduation and I’d be completely happy for her if it wasn’t all she literally talks about. I don’t know how much more I can take of her going on about moving to a new city and getting new clothes for her job and her obsession with apartment hunting. I love her, but it’s just not something I want to talk about all the time. I think that if I were as set as she is after college, I’d be as chatty as she is, but I’m not. Should I say anything, or just be happy for her and let it go?
Dear Frozen Friendship,
I think you can do both. I don’t think that saying something to her would be wrong at all, but I do think how you say it makes a difference. If you want to tell her that it’s bothering you, I would start by reminding her how happy you are for her and that you’re really excited about how successful she is, but then maybe also say how it makes you feel. Make sure to use nice words though. For example, I wouldn’t use the word “annoyed” because that could come off ruder than you might intend it to. Either that, or maybe take the approach of asking her to help you since she was so successful at finding a job. This way you can validate her success while moving the conversation towards a similar topic that involves both of you!
I hope this helps and that everything works out! Bottom line, just try your best to be happy for her but don’t let it discourage you. Let it motivate you!