Ask Andi

Published by adviser, Author: Andi - Rocket Contributor, Date: November 19, 2014
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Question:

Dear Andi,

I can’t stand my roommate’s boyfriend. He is constantly belittling her and telling her what to do, but she is “in love with him” and says he makes her happy. I told her I don’t really like him and she got mad at me. I care about her a lot and I don’t want to see him take advantage of her, but she won’t listen to anything I say about it. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Hushed Housemate​  

Answer: 

Dear Hushed Housemate,

This is a tough situation. I’ve been in similar situations with some of my best friends and even though you think you’re looking out for them, they take it as you’re trying to control them. Your friend is going to do whatever she feels is best for her whether you agree with it or not, and there’s nothing you can do to stop her. In situations like this you ultimately have three options. Your first option is to continue to tell your friend how you feel about the situation and maybe ruin the friendship over it. She’ll continue to get mad and eventually push you away because she’s going to choose this guy she’s in love with over you (most likely). Your second option is to start spending less time around them and just get away from the situation instead of feeling like you need to help her see your perspective (sorry if that sounded harsh). Your third option (and what I’ve found works the best) is to just accept what she accepts, and just be there for her when she needs someone to talk to. Not always the easiest thing, but most people won’t realize their “mistakes” until they find out the hard way. Pick whichever you feel best fits your situation and how you want your future to go.

Care through the good and the bad,

Andi

Question:

Dear Andi,

I’m graduating soon, and I’m nervous about what I’m going to do after college. When I look into the future, everything just seems gray. I feel like I should have a job lined up by now, but unfortunately I don’t. I saw that you’re also a senior, and I was wondering how you’re dealing with the stress of graduation. Are you nervous about it too?

Sincerely,

Anxiety Ridden 

Answer: 

Dear Anxiety Ridden,

First off, know that most everyone in your situation feels the same way. We’re all nervous and unsure of what the future holds. Even adults feel the same way. I’m not sure that saying that makes things much better, but it personally makes me feel better knowing everyone is just as confused as I am. When it comes to finding a job, just keep searching. Not everyone is going to graduate and have something lined up right away. Most people don’t actually, so don’t feel that you did something wrong. Just keep applying and taking every opportunity you get. I am a senior, and my way of dealing with the stress is to just live in the moment while it’s still here (aka don’t think about it too much). I am DEFINITELY nervous, don’t get me wrong about that, but I’ve been told that things will fall in line when they’re supposed to. Just make sure you’re doing everything you can to make your situation easier, and if you are, then know you’re doing all you can to prepare for your future!

Best of luck!

Andi

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