Ask Ana

Published by adviser, Author: Ana Graham, Date: February 28, 2013
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Dear Ana,

My head manager doubts my work ethic, even though she almost never works with me. My shift managers, however, consider me one of the better workers and have no problems with me. 

Unfortunately, they don’t want to make the head manager mad, so they are unwilling to stand up for me as it may cause problems for them as well. How can I tactfully resolve this issue?

An Under-appreciated Employee

 

Dear Underappreciated,

This is one of those issues that are hard to escape. You can’t go to the top about your problems if your problem is the person on top. If you work for a larger chain kind of company, though, you can go to a regional/corporate/other sort of management and that may be a good idea. If not, is it bad enough that you feel like you may be fired? In that case, I would urge you to talk to your shift managers about your concerns.

If you don’t feel like you are at risk, are you able to handle the treatment of your manager? If you can’t prove to her that you are a better worker than she believes and you can’t handle the way she treats you, I’d consider starting to look for other work. Some people are just very hard to sway in their opinions of others, and she may be stuck on her assumptions forever.

I know that finding another job may not be possible, in which case I’d suggest a good old serving of ignoring it. Just roll with the punches if you feel like you are not going to sway her or your managers to defend you. It’ll be rough, but you’ll still have your job.

 

Dear Ana,

Do you prefer Uh-Oh Oreos, or Regular Oreos?

Do They Even Still Sell Those?

 

Dear Do They,

Uh-Oh Oreos are an abomination to mankind. How dare you even bring up the name to me.

 

Dear Ana, 

I found out today that I have a half-sibling I never knew about. My parents said they “put off” telling me all my life about this person, and I still wouldn’t know if my new found sibling didn’t just message me out of the blue. 

I don’t know what to do or how to respond, I feel like I’m in a Lifetime movie and I either just fell into a bunch of drama or a whole new view of my life. I want to get to know my sibling, but I don’t even know the words to say so I haven’t responded to them yet. What in the world should I say to someone who was hidden from me my whole life?

Lifetime Movie Stuff

Dear Lifetime,

First, I would probably be upset at your parents, but understand that they may have had their reasons for putting it off. The surprise of a sudden message revelation is definitely enough to put someone in shock, and I wouldn’t know what to say at first, either.

If you want to talk to them, start small by simply telling them that you found out and that you would like to meet them.

As you talk and maybe eventually meet, you may be able to better articulate your feelings to tell them other things.

 

Dear Ana,

I recently learned that the original Dear Abby died, and I didn’t even notice. Not just that, but I found out that her daughter has been the one writing the column for years. 

This leaves me lost and confused. Are you the original Ask Ana, or did the original die or graduate but the column lives on?

What.

 

Dear What,

I am the same Ana as the previous Ana, although I will “disappear” soon. Kind of like how Steve “went to college” on Blue’s Clues, Ana will be “going to grad school” and this column will be replaced.

If someone were to want to take on the challenge of being a jerk advice columnist like me, though, they can feel free to try to take on my alias and live the sad, secretive life of an unnamed advice columnist.

 

Dear Ana,

My head manager doubts my work ethic, even though she almost never works with me. My shift managers, however, consider me one of the better workers and have no problems with me. 

Unfortunately, they don’t want to make the head manager mad, so they are unwilling to stand up for me as it may cause problems for them as well. How can I tactfully resolve this issue?

An Under-appreciated Employee

 

Dear Underappreciated,

This is one of those issues that are hard to escape. You can’t go to the top about your problems if your problem is the person on top. If you work for a larger chain kind of company, though, you can go to a regional/corporate/other sort of management and that may be a good idea. If not, is it bad enough that you feel like you may be fired? In that case, I would urge you to talk to your shift managers about your concerns.

If you don’t feel like you are at risk, are you able to handle the treatment of your manager? If you can’t prove to her that you are a better worker than she believes and you can’t handle the way she treats you, I’d consider starting to look for other work. Some people are just very hard to sway in their opinions of others, and she may be stuck on her assumptions forever.

I know that finding another job may not be possible, in which case I’d suggest a good old serving of ignoring it. Just roll with the punches if you feel like you are not going to sway her or your managers to defend you. It’ll be rough, but you’ll still have your job.

 

Dear Ana,

Do you prefer Uh-Oh Oreos, or Regular Oreos?

Do They Even Still Sell Those?

 

Dear Do They,

Uh-Oh Oreos are an abomination to mankind. How dare you even bring up the name to me.

 

Dear Ana, 

I found out today that I have a half-sibling I never knew about. My parents said they “put off” telling me all my life about this person, and I still wouldn’t know if my new found sibling didn’t just message me out of the blue. 

I don’t know what to do or how to respond, I feel like I’m in a Lifetime movie and I either just fell into a bunch of drama or a whole new view of my life. I want to get to know my sibling, but I don’t even know the words to say so I haven’t responded to them yet. What in the world should I say to someone who was hidden from me my whole life?

Lifetime Movie Stuff

Dear Lifetime,

First, I would probably be upset at your parents, but understand that they may have had their reasons for putting it off. The surprise of a sudden message revelation is definitely enough to put someone in shock, and I wouldn’t know what to say at first, either.

If you want to talk to them, start small by simply telling them that you found out and that you would like to meet them.

As you talk and maybe eventually meet, you may be able to better articulate your feelings to tell them other things.

 

Dear Ana,

I recently learned that the original Dear Abby died, and I didn’t even notice. Not just that, but I found out that her daughter has been the one writing the column for years. 

This leaves me lost and confused. Are you the original Ask Ana, or did the original die or graduate but the column lives on?

What.

 

Dear What,

I am the same Ana as the previous Ana, although I will “disappear” soon. Kind of like how Steve “went to college” on Blue’s Clues, Ana will be “going to grad school” and this column will be replaced.

If someone were to want to take on the challenge of being a jerk advice columnist like me, though, they can feel free to try to take on my alias and live the sad, secretive life of an unnamed advice columnist.

 

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